Bartimaeus

I am not Bartimaeus.
I am not the son of Timaeus.

When Jesus summons I do not leap up,
I do not leave everything behind,
I do not fly straight to Jesus,
Forgetting that I am blind.

I sit, I consider, I weigh the call,
Weigh it again,
Ponder my options,
Measure my abilities,
Guess my future.

When I stand, I creak, I groan,
Pins, needles, fire,
Spine having forgotten vertical.

I leave nothing behind.
I pack and repack:
Clothes and extra clothes, food, money, keys,
toothbrush, guitar, dishwasher, HOA dues,
401(k), Netflix subscription.

And now my toes stretch, grab earth, pull me
Forward into the dark,
Utmost concern to never stub,
Never stumble, never bruise,
Arms waving high and low,
Scanning for obstacles.
I take stops to rest,
I reverse, then move ahead again,
It takes years.

When I arrive I find
the Son of David has not moved on.
He’s still stopped in the road,
blocking traffic, waiting for me.

He asks me:
“What do you want me to do for you?”

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2 thoughts on “Bartimaeus

  1. I loved your poem, Nick. And shared it today with several other spiritual directors … we meet together once a month or so. THANKS.

    Dave

    On Mon, May 13, 2019 at 8:40 AM Mostly Consolation wrote:

    > tasersedge posted: ” I am not Bartimaeus. I am not the son of Timaeus. > When Jesus summons I do not leap up, I do not leave everything behind, I do > not fly straight to Jesus, Forgetting that I am blind. I sit, I consider, I > weigh the call, Weigh it again, Ponder my options” >

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